


The letter

by idekorc



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-10-14 01:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10526130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idekorc/pseuds/idekorc
Summary: Trixie reads a letter from Patsy to Delia, Trixie learns about Patsy and Delias relationship. This story is set in season 6 when Patsy is away. Multichapter.





	1. Chapter 1

Trixie had a frightfully busy day; a breeched birth of twins and then one other birth that had a celebration of all family members straight after, Trixie was then caught up with this. 

Trixie had been missing her best friend, Patsy had been gone for 4 months and they had been exchanging letters but it didn't have the same personal feel as it did having Patsy there. 

When she walked in everyone was out, Barbara and Phyllis out on call, the nuns in compline and Delia on a late shift at hospital. 

Trixie walked upstairs and laid on her bed with a cigarette in one hand and the other to support herself. 

Delia had moved in after Patsy left. Both she and Delia felt the absence of Patsy, Delia a bit more than others. It had given more talk and made them have a stronger relationship. 

She turned and saw a letter from Patsy, still in the envelope. Not turning it around to find out the recipient, Trixie opened the letter with her letter opener. 

She began to read the letter, on the prowl for any saucy details or any word of a gentleman friend. 

What she got in turn was not what she was expecting. She picked up the envelope and saw the letter was addressed to Delia. Trixie quickly placed the letter back onto her bed and took a long, drawn out drag from her cigarette. 

"Patsy Mount, you dark horse." This was all Trixie could think. Maybe she had gotten it wrong. It wasn't what she thought it was, was it?

Trixie had nothing wrong with... those type of people. It was more of the case that it was not really heard of. She shared a room with Patsy, how had this been happening right under her nose.

She had seen the longing stares between the two and she had seen Patsy's excitement when she ever went out with Delia. She never thought anything of it, merely there long friendship shining through. 

Trixie couldn't resist it any longer, she had to read the letter again. Just to make sure that what she read was correct. 

Trixie swiftly moved to Delia's bed and took the letter. She scanned through the letter focusing on each syllable she read. 

"I love you."  
"I can't wait to be in your arms again."  
"My love."

It was undeniable. Patsy was a... queer. Trixie went through all of the memories of Patsy. All the times Trixie had talked about men or even suggested a date with a man, Patsy had always responded with the same excuses: 

"Having a boyfriend isn't the be all and end all"  
"Trixie, I'm far too busy for that."

Or simply just: “No thank you, Trixie"  
All of this was accompanied with an exasperated sigh.

Trixie was enthralled with the letter, reading it over and over. 

It was 11 o'clock when Delia had arrived at Nonnatus House. She was exhausted after her shift at the hospital and had just wanted to go to sleep.

She clambered up the stairs and entered the room only to be stopped in her tracks. Sitting right in front of her was Trixie, deep in thought, reading her letter. Her letter. 

Delia was in shock, only managing to stutter. Trixie swivelled around quickly Delia was sure she had whiplash. "I...I thought that this wa- was. I'm sorry."

Delia short circuited, what was she going to do? She thought of Patsy and all that she could lose. The only thing that Delia could do was put on a façade, when she attempted to look calm and collected her fear got the better. She ran. 

Trixie shot out of bed and began hot on her trail. Delia ran down the stairs with tears in her eyes, running out the door.  
Everyone were sat around the table drinking tea and discussing the newest birth.

Trixie saw this and turned to the table, that were now aware of Delia running out of the door, and shook her head to tell them not to worry. 

rixie ran just managed to catch sight of Delia running under the bridge and making her way to the café. So she started to sprint, it was easy with her flats. 

Delia sat down at a table in the café and put her head onto the table with her arms placed over her neat and tidy bun. 

She was trying to collect her thoughts when Trixie stormed in an sat in front of her. 

"Right now sweetie, I think it's time we had a chat."


	2. Chapter 2

Trixie ordered two teas and placed her hand over Delia's arms. Delia's head had shot straight up after she heard Trixie talk. 

"Right sweetie, I think we should talk." Trixie had said in her most sweetest and understanding voice.

Delia looked around for anyone, or was late and they were the only ones in there apart from the barista who was too busy reading the news paper to pay attention. 

"Why were you reading my letter?" Delia asked with as much energy as possible, which wasn't very much.

Trixie fumbled over an answer, why did she? "I-I didn't know it was yours." Trixie knew it was a bad answer and so added more of an explanation to it "I just saw Patsy's handwriting and I was missing her, I just assumed it was the letter Patsy had written to everyone."

Delia felt angry. "You don't just assume that. That letter was private." Delia whispered with a viciousness dripping from it. 

Trixie had to compose herself, she did not expect this from Delia. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed." 

"No. You shouldn't have." Delia scorned

Trixie could see that Delia was seething, with every right too. "Delia, I know it was something very private and I shouldn't have looked, I know why you're upset, I would be too." Trixie was trying to tell her she knew "I saw what was in the letter." 

Delia closed her eyes and breathed out a steady breath. This is what she was scared of, her secret getting out. This could destroy her. 

"I want you to know, I don't care. I never have done and I would never judge you for who you love." 

Delia was in shock. She had expected Trixie to run and tell Sister Julienne, she would be kicked out and have no where to live. She supposed she could have gone back to Wales. 

Delia's emotions where uncontrollable, she started crying, sobbing more like. This stirred the attention of the barista. 

Trixie saw this and got Delia up and out of the café. Holding Delia in her arms she guided her down the street and towards Nonnatus.

Delia and Trixie stood outside the door so Delia could fix her face. So she could wipe the dry tracks of tears away, so she could apply a mask, a façade. 

Delia was use to this. She had one permanently fixed to her, that was apart from when she was with Patsy. She could always be herself with Patsy. 

Delia was bursting with emotions, emotions she didn't know how to explain, or feel. She felt tears prick at the side of her eyes. 

Trixie took one look and enveloped Delia in a bear hug. Rubbing her back and whispering reassuring nothings into her ear. 

It took five minutes for Delia's sobs to quiet into nothing, to get her breath steady. Trixie took hold of her hand and wiped the tears away. 

Together they entered the door to Nonnatus house and were greeted by Sister Julienne. She looked stern but you could see the care and compassion etched into her face. 

"Ladies, hello." She began. Delia had her head firmly to the floor, however Trixie had hers high and mighty. "Sister, is there something we can help you with?" Trixie enquired with her sweetest voice.

"Yes, I would like to see you two in my office. Tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock." They both shook their heads at this as Sister Julienne walked off to her office.

Delia ran to the stairs and into her bed, Trixie tried to catch up to her but was halted by a fierce looking Nurse Crane. Hair rollers firmly in her hair, pyjamas and bath robe put on with a cup of tea in her hand. 

"Nurse Franklin would you join me for a cup of tea downstairs, to discuss the recent outburst presented by Nurse Busby."

Trixie was simultaneously astounded and terrified, she knew of Nurse Crane's firm friendship over Delia, and just how formidable she was.


	3. Chapter 3

Phyllis looked formidable, even though she was sitting her room wearing hair rollers and a fluffy pink bath robe. 

Delia was in the bath room, taking a bath and gathering herself. Therefore Trixie and Phyllis had the room to themselves.

Trixie sat on her bed and began to panic about the questioning ahead of her. Phyllis sat on the edge of Delia's bed, took a swig of her tea and then fixed her glare onto Trixie.

"So, Nurse Franklin, would you be so inclined to tell as to the outburst that was the scene earlier between Nurse Busby and yourself?" Phyllis always tried not to pry but when it came to Delia she had become very fond of the girl.

"Nothing, Phyllis, I can assure you. It was simply just a hard shift at the hospital." Trixie said sweetly, turning her head to feign innocence and sweeten the lie. 

Phyllis already knew about Nurse Mount and Nurse Busby's relationship but she wasn't about to tell Trixie this, not without further probing.

"Now lass, we both know a tough shift wasn't the case." Phyllis whispered with a softer tone. 

Trixie was not about to expose two of her closest friends. And no offence to Phyllis but she was of the older generation and was unsure of where she stood on the matter. 

Phyllis had always been accepting, as they all had, in this line of work you had to be. This didn't stop Trixie from the wondering about Phyllis' acceptance, especially as they're living in the same house, a   
convent.

Trixie took a sharp inhale and started trying to explain. "Delia has just been having a terribly hard time since Patsy left. They were awfully close, best of friends since nursing school." Trixie had a rather unexpected twang of envy fill her body, she wanted a friendship like that, maybe not as close but a friendship nonetheless "Coupled with a rather expectant and ever looming matron, it was no wonder as to why Delia had just needed a fresh take of air." 

Phyllis mulled this over and eventually accepted the answer. "Very well Nurse Franklin, we shall have to start paying closer attention towards Del- Nurse Busby in future." 

Trixie let out a sigh of relief, it wasn't exactly a lie but it wasn't really the truth. Phyllis had always been there for Trixie when she started attending AA meetings and so it felt frightfully awful lying to her. It was for Delia, Trixie thought that balanced it out. 

Phyllis left the room just as she bumped into Delia. Trixie began to change into her pyjamas as she caught sight of Nurse Crane whispering something to Delia. 

They went to bed in silence, neither really sleeping, just laying in the darkness that had enshrouded them.

 

Morning came, time for Sister Julienne's meeting. The meeting was presumably about Delia's outburst yesterday. Both Trixie and Delia were worried, the first thing Delia did that morning was write a page to Patsy explain everything she felt and the events that had unfolded. 

They made their way down the stairs at 8 o'clock and started eating breakfast. The atmosphere at the table was a little stiff for Trixie's liking, she sat up with an eager bounce and drew a breath to address the table.

"Has anyone heard from Patsy recently?" Sister Winifred had just managed to get in before Trixie had a chance. 

Everyone's eyes immediately and naturally fell upon Delia. It was no secret about how close they were. Delia's eyes picked themselves off of her dry toast and onto the expectant faces surrounding her.

"Y-yes, yes I have." Delia stated tentatively  
"Well, what did she say?" Barbara probed "Hong Kong isn't too exiting, well, with what she can see of it. With her fathers health rapidly declining she cares for him twenty four seven. So she doesn't really go out much." Delia had tears forming in her eyes. 

Everyone felt rather sorry for her, they lost a best friend and colleague but everyone knew about there friendship and how close they were. 

Barbara and Sister Winifred felt guilty for asking about Patsy.

Trixie moved the conversation onto the newest birth to ease alway the prying eyes on Delia's pain. Delia was grateful for this beyond words.

It was soon time for Sister Juliennes meeting. 

Trixie and Delia both had the morning off and began their journey to Sister Juliennes office. 

Trixie had managed to tell Delia about her chat with Phyllis and both agreed that that was the story they were going to stick by. 

As the stood side by side outside the heavy oak door of Sister Juliennes office, Trixie stepped forward to knock on the door and swiftly moved back to her old position. 

They heard a small yell from inside telling them to come in. They moved into the room and swiftly sat down into one of the big chairs that sat parallel to each other. 

"Nurse Busby and Nurse Franklin, I have asked you here today to talk about yesterday evening."


	4. Chapter 4

Sister Julienne didn't look as angry and as furious as Delia and Trixie had imagined, she actually looked rather caring and sympathetic. 

This instantly eased both of them. 

"Sister-" Trixie began trying to explain but Sister Julienne interrupted 

"Now, Nurse Franklin, I would very much like to here from Nurse Busby. As it was her who burst out of the convent."

Delia's eyes turned towards Trixie and then darted to meet Sister Julienne. Sister Julienne raised her eyebrows questioningly, caring still evident in her face.

"Well, Nurse Busby, why did you storm out of Nonnatus? We are all concerned about you and we'd really rather like to help with whatever it is that may be troubling you."

Delia went over the story that Trixie had made in her head.

"Sister, I was just stressed, with my looming exams and work in general I- I think it was just me and feeling very overwhelmed." 

Delia finally knew that her work was stressful, but she could handle it, she had been for years. It felt bad lying to the head nun, but sadly lying was something she was used to.

"Well, Nurse Busby. If it's work and exams that troubles you then I'm sure we can all help. After all, we have all passed the midwifery exams." Sister Julienne said this with a warm smile.

"Yes, I can always test you, Sweetie." Trixie bemused with a smile and cocked head. 

After talking for a few more minutes Sister Julienne let them out. Trixie had been called out so Delia was left on her own.

Delia wanted to get out of the meeting, she wanted to escape, to run and hug Patsy. She wanted to shut the world out and forget everything, to be without pain for two minutes. 

She settled for writing to Patsy, drinking a cup of tea and revising for her looming exams.

Delia had been sitting at the dining table for an hour, wagging the pen around on the paper and in the air and then back onto the paper. 

She had no idea where to start. She had left on her feelings before the meeting but now she couldn't decipher what she was feeling. 

Delia was in a day dream when Barbara wandered into the kitchen, she started boiling the kettle. Barbara noticed that Delia was daydreaming and got out another cup. 

She placed them down at the table, startling Delia out of her dream. Barbara offered Delia a sympathetic smile and pushed the cup of tea towards her. 

"Thank you, Barbara." Delia said with a small smile.

"It's more that okay, you seem rather stressed Delia, I do wonder what about?"

"Oh nothing, I was just writing a letter back to Patsy." Delia chocked out the last word.

Barbara gave her another sympathetic smile. "Any mention of me in the letter?" Barbara inquired.

Delia stifled a laugh. "No actually, it's more like the weather and babies, if I'm being honest." 

Barbara took a sip of tea, she was about to ask about Patsy when Trixie stormed in covered with amniotic fluid. She went straight to the medical room. She looked rather flustered, Barbara and Delia looked at each other and giggled.

"Mrs. Baker, a baby girl." She called coming back down stairs from changing. 

"That's wonderful." Barbara cooed. 

The girls sat there for a while talking about their day, which led onto Barbara and Toms appending nuptials and then Trixie and Christopher. 

They had just finished laughing over something Christopher had said, when Barbara had asked Delia the one question she had been systematically avoiding since she was 14 years old; "So Delia, any gentleman friends?" 

Delia's eyebrows went up to her fringe, she took a sharp breath in and began to deny them. Trixie, however butted in before Delia could "Oh Babs, surely you remember training, there's no time for any boyfriends!" Trixie playfully scorned.

Delia took a sigh of relief before composing herself to laugh along with the other two nurses. 

"Ah yes, whilst all the other nurses were going out I stayed in and had to revise... much to the joy of my father." Barbara chimed looking up to the ceiling remembering her training memories. 

Trixie and Delia exchanged a look between them. Delia excused herself and went to her bedroom, as much as she loved Trixie, sharing a room could sometimes be exhausting.

Delia loved being around people, but she also loved curling up and reading a book on her own. 

Having her own room also meant that she could leave letters around without anyone looking at them.

The past couple of days went quickly, not much time to fully absorb the events. Delia still harboured some anger and resentment towards Trixie, how could she not? Leaving out Trixie finding out about her and Patsy she still violated her privacy. 

Delia knew that she had problems with boundaries, Patsy had told her about Trixie going through her keep sake box.

The thought of Patsy finding out about how Trixie knew scared her. 

Patsy had always been the more secretive of the two, the better at wearing a façade. How could Delia comfort her when Patsy found out about her mask slipping when she was thousands of miles away, weeks away.

She was afraid she'd never hear from Patsy again, instead choosing to leave her behind, and the cracks in her mask. 

Delia was petrified.

She had even gone as far as hiding the letters in a box in her draw, hopefully then Trixie wouldn't find them. 

The letter that Trixie had read was the most painful one Delia had received. Patsy had written of her feelings about the imminent loss of her last immediate family. How she misses Delia and that everything had become more of a grey cloud than ever. She had joked about how the house was spotless ever since she came but Delia knew that the joke was forced. She always made light of everything.

Truth be told the letter scared her, Patsy's life had started to fall apart, with cracks beginning to show at an rapidly alarming rate. 

Patsy would've been mortified knowing that Trixie knew about her feelings about well, anything.

So whilst Delia sat there at the desk she decided to scrap the letter she had previously penned that morning and start afresh. 

She had chosen to focus, instead on how much she missed the red head and how she was so incredibly proud of her. She wished that they could be together and had sent some jokes herself about Sister Winifred driving lessons and other things the Nonnatans had told. 

This filled Delia with hope, at least for now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's short but I'm working on the new chapter!! I'm gonna try to make it long and really cool!

It has now turned to September and Delia was studying as hard as ever for her near exams.

The nurses took pity on her, remembering their exams. Offering biscuits and tea or any help with her revision. 

Delia always seemed distracted or withdrawn, the other nurses put it down to stress but Trixie and Nurse Crane knew what was wrong. 

The letters were getting scarcer and infrequent. This made Delia panic between each letter, making her become even more distant and sinking her deeper into her façade. 

 

It was a 9 o'clock on a Friday and Delia was revising, like usual when Trixie came into their room. 

She had her arms behind her back, swaying her hips walking over to her. Trixie took a seat on her bed with a cheeky grin plastered over her face. 

Delia looked up with a curious look on her and put down her numerous midwifery books "Nurse Franklin, what is with the mischievous secrecy?" Delia finally asked.

"Well, Nurse Busby, it's a Friday night and I looked upon the roster and happened to find that we both had the night off." 

Trixie paused for the dramatic flare. Delia had a a funny feeling she knew where Trixie was going with this. 

"And well, since you've been revising 24/7 I thought we could go out to dance! I know I can't entirely distract you from a certain someone but maybe I can help?" 

Trixie said this with a hopeful sweetness in her voice and a small smile. 

Delia looked at her bundle of books and then at her wardrobe where a rather fitting blue dress mysteriously found its way onto the door of it. 

"Oh go on, alright!" Delia breathed.

"Yes! First off let's start off with that dress that's just hanging there." Trixie squealed clapping her hands, practically falling off the bed.

Trixie and Delia came down the stairs laughing and putting on their coats. Nurse crane and Sister Julienne turned the corner, looking deep in conversation. 

"Oh hello Nurse Busby, Nurse Franklin." Sister Julienne inquired. "I see you're heading out for an evening of activities." 

"Yes Sister, we'll be back soon." Trixie smiled 

"Well we shall leave you to your evening."   
Sister Julienne said and turned to Nurse crane and walked off continuing with their conversation. 

Trixie hooked arms with Delia and both walked out of the door and into the dark street. 

"So where do you want to go?" Trixie asked questioningly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm interested in the Trixie and Delia dynamic and want to see her making friends outside of Patsy.

"Well, I don't really go out." Delia deadpanned.

"Nonsense! You and Patsy always go out!" Trixie proclaimed walking through the tunnel. 

"Well we mainly just sit and drink numerous cups of tea at the café." Delia joked, with a hint of resignation. 

Trixie just squinted her eyes and turned back to the street. "Well, lucky for us I know a great place to dance!" 

Delia just squeezed Trixies arm tight and continued walking, starting a new topic. 

"So... how's Christopher?" Delia said suggestively wiggling her eyebrows. 

 

After a few minutes of walking around houses and a couple of pit stops for mothers who flagged them down in the street. 

They arrived at the club and were immediately met by a gaggle of people smoking and drinking outside, making a racket. 

Once they were in the club a picturesque scene exploded. The music erupted in Delia's ears, people were dancing all over the floor and people were drinking at the bar. Delia was in awe, soaking up the atmosphere around her. 

Trixie ran to grab the last open table whilst Delia went to the bar. She brought a cherry for herself and some water for Trixie. 

Trixie picked up the water and put it down again, Delia looked at her scrupulously over the top of her glass. 

"Water isn't exactly what I want on a night out." Trixie answered. 

"Oh, well, a dance?" Delia questioned, she realised being around alcohol could be detrimental to Trixie's recovery. 

Trixie grabbed Delia's hand and they made their way to the dance floor. They danced through every song. Only stopping so Delia could have a sip of her drink and then straight back to the floor. 

When they finally took a break, Delia plumped down onto the chair and Trixie soon followed. 

"That was amazing! I don't think I've danced like that since my nursing school days!"

"I would have loved to have seen you in nurse training." 

"Oh, It was fantastic!" Delia sipped her drink, going through old memories. Trixie looked at her with a quizzical look. 

Delia looked at her watch and checked the time. "Want to start making our way back, we told the Sister Julienne we'd be back soon." 

"Of course, if you tell me about your old nursing stories." 

They put on their jackets and scarves and made their way out of the club. The group were still there but they seemed to be in an even more inebriated state than before. 

Trixie just delicately shoved passed them pulling Delia along. 

They walked past the cold, dark, streets arm in arm submerged in a comfortable silence. 

"So... Delia. I believe you owe me a nursing school story!" 

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." Delia proclaimed with a cheeky side grin. 

"Go on then. What scandalous stories do you have to tell me." 

"Well, there was one time when a big group of us planned to go to the cinema but it was sold out." Delia began 

"So instead of going back to the nursing home Sandy Perkins practically dragged us all to the club." Delia getting quicker in her talking. 

"So when we get there all of the girls find the largest group of men they could find and start unapologetically flirting with them." 

"Truly scandalous." Trixie quipped.

Delia just side eyed her and carried on with her story.

"So... after a couple of minutes these men buy us drinks round after round for about 15 student nurses." 

Trixie laughed while Delia tried to stifle hers. 

"One of the men even tried to hit on me, Patsy-"

"Let me guess, she gave him a right good glare." Trixie proclaimed.

Delia cocked her head.

"Oh you know, that glare she gives whenever someone does something completely outrageous."

Delia laughed hysterically and clapped her hands. "So I see you've been down the bad end of the stare?"

"I once took a peak in her box and took a mirror from it. I thought it looked simply stunning with my scarf... however I didn't know the emotional attachment to the mirror." 

"Yeah, that's Patsy's box and Patsy's box only." Delia affirmed. 

"Have you ever looked in it?" Trixie questioned. 

Delia sighed, "I asked her about it when we first became friends, and of course Patsy was very closed off about it. I never asked again, respecting her privacy." Delia blurted. 

"So then after we had been working at the hospital for a few months and we... um... started courting should I say, I believe I gained Patsy's full trust and then some, should I say." Trixie knew exactly what gaining Patsy's trust could be like. 

"I was laying on my bed when I saw a glimpse of the box, I had been curious previously but I pushed it to the back of my mind. Patsy saw this and well, she told me what was inside. She asked if I wanted to see but I could hear the trepidation in her voice and it seemed like such an awfully private thing, so I declined. I think Patsy was relieved to be honest." 

Trixie looked at Delia in amazement, if Trixie was being honest then she hadn't fully grappled how her two friends, colleagues even, could be inclined in that way.

Trixie had just realised how much they love each other. She didn't believe she knew the full story but had just scraped the barrel. 

"So I believe I was busy telling you one of my many scandalous stories." Delia quipped.

"Oh please, do carry on." Trixie encouraged. 

They continued sharing stories of their past until they reached Nonnatus. They both got changed into pyjamas and went to bed. 

Each having a larger understanding of each other and deeper friendship.


	7. Chapter 7

It was dinner time at Nonnatus and they were all sitting around the table eating their food. Valerie walked in after a lengthy labour, she scooped up the mail, from the cabinet by the door and began to shift the pile. 

Valerie sat down, handing out the letters to their respective owners. "Here you go, Barbara and oh... there's two from Patsy." They put down their cutlery and looked at Valerie. 

Valerie hadn't expected to garner the whole and attention of the table, maybe she didn't quite grasp the effect of Patsy on everyone. 

After a moment or two Valerie stuttered out "There's one addressed to Nonnatus house and one to Delia." Valerie handed Delia's letter to her and fiddled with the other. 

"Would any one like to read the letter?" Valerie questioned, wafting the letter around.

"I wouldn't mind." Trixie volunteered. Trixie opened the letter and cleared her throat to begin reading. 

"Dear Nonnatus, 

I miss you terribly! The weather over here is pleasant, hot and wet, so any mention of hot is better than British weather! I here we have a new nurse who joined out ranks. All I can say is good luck. 

I'm still counting down the days until I can be back home, knee deep in babies and rain and I can't wait. 

How is everyone? Still delivering babies? 

Barbara, how's the wedding planning going? Has Trixie turned into a bridezilla? I do so wish I can be there for the wedding! 

I shall have to go now, hopefully see you soon,

Patsy x" Everyone's eyes had teared up, Valerie not quite so much however. 

"Well, I am glad nurse Mount is doing well." Nurse Crane made an attempt to quip. It was in vain however, the atmosphere had changed since the letter. 

Barabara was full on crying with Trixie comforting her. Barbara was overcome with emotion after realising Patsy may not be there for the wedding. 

Delia was sat in her own trance, fiddling with the letter in her hand. Nurse Crane kept a fixed eye on Delia, she could tell how Delia had shifted with emotion. 

"Sister, may I be excused from dinner, please." Delia said with pleading eyes. 

"Yes, of course, nurse Busby." Delia pushed her chair back and strode off upstairs, to her room. 

The whole table followed her with their eyes, expect Barbara who was rereading the letter.


	8. Chapter 8

Delia sat on her bed, she softly bounced a couple of times. It always felt like Patsy's bed and still did.

She laid down on the bed and opened up the letter. She pressed her nose to the letter and inhaled it. It smelled like Patsy. 

Her eyes fixated on everything but the words. She ran her fingers over the handwriting and then gauged the paper that the letter was written on. 

It was soft and mint green, it had curved edges. Delia noticed all of these features, that most people wouldnt pay attention to, becuase she was scared of what was written in the letter. 

It had been six months. Six months without holding her love. Anything could be in that letter, she could say that she's not coming home and that's why she's been so long. She could say her fathers died and she's taking over the business. 

Delia started tearing up, so many scenarios rushed through her head. she wiped away the tears and tried to begin reading the letter. 

She only got as far as "To my dearest love." Delia reread this line so many times pains started growing in her eyes. 

Trixie walked in, she hovered by the door frame wondering to let Delia be on her own. 

She noticed that Delia had tears streaming down her face. Trixie rushed over and held Delia in her arms whilst she cried. 

When Delia had calmed down she mumbled something in Trixie's arms. "Sorry sweetie, I couldn't quite catch that." Trixie encouraged. 

Delia sat up straight and wiped her eyes. "I was just saying how I had only got to the first sentence and I broke." She chuckled solemnly. 

Trixie visibly stumbled over what to say, she settled for stroking Delia's arm, "Sweetie..." she began. 

Delia turned to her "Would you mind if I kept the letter to myself." Delia questioned sheepishly. 

Trixie sat up straight "Of course Delia, it was never my intention to go through it. Though I can see how you would think I would..." Trixie gave a small half smile and looked down. 

Trixie got up after a beat and walked to the door. Delia sat up straighter "Where are you going?" Delia asked softly. 

"I'm on duty tonight and I can see you do need your privacy." Trixie smiled, with no malicious intent behind it. 

As Trixie walked out of the door she came face to face with Phyllis holding a cup of tea and a couple of biscuits. 

"Nurse Franklin, are you not suppose to be on duty this evening?" Nurse Crane questioned. 

"Yes, Nurse Crane, though I was just checking in on Delia." Trixie affirmed "I suspect she just needs a bit of privacy." Trixie subtly hinted. 

"Yes, I should suspect. I just thought I'd bring her a cup of tea before bed." Nude Crane described her intentions. 

Trixie moved out of the way to let Phyllis in, she carried on walking down the stairs but turned her head to the bedroom. 

She watched as Phyllis entered said her pleasantries and hand Delia the tea. Trixie couldn't make out the rest so carried on down the stairs to the phone. 

 

"Thank you, Phyllis." Delia thanked.  
"No thanks needed, lass" Phyllis said.

Phyllis sat on Trixie's bed and they talked about the letter read out at dinner. 

"Barbara's in pieces because Patsy might not be able to make it to the wedding." Phyllis confirmed "She's next on my tea round." She joked. 

Thy laughed at this, knowing Phyllis would deliver tea to anyone she deemed to be upset or in need of a talk. 

"That's very typically British of you Phyllis." Delia laughed.

"Well, I find in the times of need, tea is usually the best protocol." 

"When in doubt, tea it out." Delia quipped. They both laughed out loud at this. 

The conversation moved to other places, Delia still had the letter course through her mind, eventually she got to a place where she felt ready to read it. 

She told Phyllis this and immediately she got up and understood. Phyllis patted Delia's shoulder and walked out the door. 

Delia was finally alone and so she laid down a bit more to get comfy. She found a box of tissues and placed them next to her. 

"Right then, let's read it shall we" Delia whispered to herself out loud. 

"My dearest love, 

I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to explain the part where it said "'I'm on duty tonight and I can see you do need your privacy.' Trixie smiled, with no malicious intent behind it."
> 
> I wanted to explain because I put it as I wanted Trixie and Delia's friendship find when and when not to give space. 
> 
> I believe they're just figuring that out, so I didn't want it to seem as though Trixie was 'a bit salty' over their conversation and being asked to be left alone. 
> 
> So I just needed to explain that sorry.


	9. Chapter 9

"My Dearest Love, 

I'm sorry. Time has escaped me, I am so greatly sorry I haven't written in two months. There is no excuse. 

Days are starting to blur into one, every day he inches closer to deaths door but it's agonisingly slow. 

He's in so much pain, It's the nurse in me that's wanting him to be out of his misery, because there's no cure. 

On the other hand it's the daughter in me that has a tiny spec of hope that he'll miraculously recover. 

Nothing has brought me this further back to the internment camps since the tuberculosis case. 

The feeling is so hauntingly similar, sometimes I wake up from dreaming about the horrors to the smell of the camps. 

I miss bleach. 

Every bone in my body aches to be back home, to be with you. So I'll settle for next best thing: 

Reading about you. 

Though I do admire your world class reading ability, it's good to see your growing and cementing your friendships with everyone. 

How is everyone? Has Trixie touched any of my perfumes? If she has then please tell her that all bottles are out of bounds. 

Now, down to your revision, how much are you getting done? Are you still a tad muddled on spotting? I'm sure one of the girls could help. 

I would help you but I cannot locate any pencils at this precise moment, so the diagrams will have to wait. 

I must leave you now, fathers moaning about me finding a man to marry so I can inherit the fortune, again. 

All my love,

Patsy x" 

That was it. That was the letter Patsy had written. 

It was full of desperation and Delia could see clear tear marks around the parts where Patsy's emotions spilled out of her. 

Delia could tell Patsy was hanging back, though it was the most open Patsy had been for a few letters. 

When she first arrived, Patsy would send letters describing everything; her surroundings, the people, her father but most important to Delia, her feelings. 

Delia's spark of hope grew a small amount after reading the letter. Maybe Patsy opening up was a sign of her returning soon, however unfortunate the circumstances are. 

Just then Trixie walked in, she didn't realise the time, she was busy rereading the letter over and over then thinking about it. 

It was early morning and Trixie had just returned from a breached birth. "Delia, how are you still awake?" Trixie inquired sleepily rubbing her eyes. 

"I'm not." Delia lied, it was still fairly dark outside so she pretended to be awoken by Trixie's sudden entrance, she was fairly certain she could get away with this. 

"Oops, I'm sorry, Delia." Trixie apologised. "I smell retched, I think the only thing that will get rid of the stench is a good scrub and a spritz or two of Patsy's perfume." Trixie made her way to Patsy's perfume tray. 

"I wouldn't if I were you." Delia stifled a laugh.


	10. Chapter 10

Delia looked at the clock, it was nearly time for her break. Matron had her running around the ward all day and Delia needed a break. 

She made her way to the staff room when she was greeted by other nurses. "Hello, Nurse Busby!" One of them said.

They all greeted her and waved her over to sit down on one of the hard wooden chairs surrounding a table. She quickly made a tea and sat down with them.

"Tough shift?" Shirley asked, she was a nurse from male surgical. 

"Not tough as much as... rush rush rush." Delia said waving her hand around then taking a sip of tea. They all nodded their heads to symbolize they're understanding of the shift Delia had had. 

They all started chatting about odd things; gossip on the ward, rude patients they have and then it got onto a topic Delia always felt a bit uneasy on, or more jealous really.

Boyfriends. 

It's not that Delia completely hated and avoided the conversation completely, like Patsy did, but felt the agony of her façade a bit more intensely. 

The nurses talked about their new boyfriends, one was even getting engaged, another talking about their future as a spinster. That last comment made the room erupt into laughter with a few sympathetic pats onto their arm. 

The circle of nurses then turned towards Delia, eying her with arched eyebrows, urging her to talk about her love life. The room fell quiet, Delia looked up at the clock for help, she suddenly realized that her break had actually ended 2 minutes ago. 

She got up in a hurry, the chair scraping against the tiles. The other nurses flinched then looked at the clock too, trying to find the culprit of the end of their gossip time. Collectively, they realised their break had ended too and so after a cacophony of noise, there were 6 nurses quickly filling out of the room and scurrying to their stations. 

 

It was 6 o'clock and Delia had just opened the door to Nonnatus house, she opened the door and climbed the stairs slowly, half out of exasperation and half out of thinking about the break room conversation. 

So many things were playing through her head, scenarios where her break had been longer and she was eventually made to spill about her relationship status. This particular scene scared Delia, what could she have said? She could've said she was single but that simply wasn't true and Delia hated the idea, she could've faked a boyfriend but she would've slipped up on details.

A scenario that Delia had only thought of once but then quickly rejected the wishful thinking and shoved it to the back of her mind. A scene in which Delia could talk about Patsy openly with people.

Patsy always seemed to be a subject she kept to herself, she talked about Patsy only to Trixie or Nurse Crane but when she did Delia always felt like she shouldn't be and immediately tried to stop. 

Whenever she did she felt like she was sharing unwanted information and was just infringing upon everyone else, it was hard when the only person you can be yourself around was in a different country and rarely wanting to talk about what she was. 

She was so far deep in her head that she didn't see Valerie and bumped into her, they both recoiled and held their heads in their hands slowly rubbing. "I'm so sorry!" Delia frantically apologized to her. 

"No no, it's no trouble, you looked deep into thought though, Delia." Valerie said with a sympathy dripping from her tone, she cocked her head and softened her eyes. 

"Just... a tough- um - patient." Delia spluttered mentally scathing herself, she was usually good at lying. She had to be to dodge her families - especially her mothers - insistent questioning of when she's going to move back to Wales and get a husband. 

Valerie didn't seem too convinced and squinted her eyes around Delia, Delia shuffled uncomfortably under Valerie's gaze. "Well if you want to talk about it, I think we all know about tough patients." Valerie offered, it seemed she had another agenda behind her. 

Delia faltered, stuttering her words "Oh, um thank you, Valerie, really but I think maybe a good nap could help." She smiled at the new midwife and walked into her room. 

Delia laid on her bed, she pulled out Patsy's perfume and sprayed it around herself and her pillow. The welsh nurse got underneath the covers and inhaled Patsy, Patsy was the one person she came to in a time of need or woe and this was definitely one of those times.

Delia didn't say much that night at dinner when asked why she simply said she had a tough patient, this was then accompanied by looks exchanged over dinner, by the other nurses of sympathy and understanding. 

The only people who didn't look convinced was Trixie, Phyllis and Valerie. Each with their own agenda of dealing with the sad welsh nurse presented in front of them. 

That night Delia allowed herself to go back to the accepting haven, as what she named it. She dreamed of Patsy and holding hands.


	11. Chapter 11

It was Delia's day off and so she slept in late, she made it down to breakfast just in time; everyone was sitting around the table eating their breakfast. Delia planned to spend her day revising, she had a test on Thursday and only a couple of months of her course left so the course was becoming increasingly harder. 

As she sat down she grabbed a piece of toast and made her milky tea, the others made small talk over their tea and toast. Delia looked up from her cup and locked eyes with Valerie, who immediately put her head down into her cereal. 

Delia frowned and then looked around and saw Phyllis looking at her mid-sip from her tea, her eyes darted away from her and onto a random conversation on the table, she turned to Trixie to see if she was seeing this and was confronted by two blue eyes staring directly at her, not turning away like Phyllis and Valerie.

Delia just turned away and quickly ate her toast; after she finished she quickly gathered her things and cleared away. Everyone looked scrupulously at Delia hurriedly leaving the table. They all looked at each other concerned and 

It was midday and Delia was revising at the dining table when Sister Monica Joan walked from the kitchen carrying a jar of violets jam, or what were violets jam. Remnants of the jam dotted around the elderly nuns face, some even managed it onto her nose. 

Delia laughed at the sight whilst the nun exclaimed, “ It seems some mysterious perpetrator has taken our delicious jam!” whilst throwing her arms in the air and carrying on walking. 

Valerie walked in and went straight to the clinical room, covered in amniotic fluid and muttering under her breath. Delia just shook her head and giggled, this would be her in a matter of months, she thought to herself. 

After what seemed forever, with Delia’s revision, Valerie came sauntering in dressed out of her uniform and into street wear. She sat opposite Delia, fiddling with her hands.

Delia could feel Valerie’s eyes staring intensely into her, Delia shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. Delia put her pencil down and looked up to face Valerie, giving her a pointed look as she did so. 

Valerie sat up as if to attention, “Yes, Valerie, how may I help you?” Delia questioned. “Okay well, here me out,” Valerie warned, fiddling with her fingers as she did so. 

“I have noticed you being rather quite sad, I mean you’ve always had a slight, um, sadness about you, even when you were happy. I assume its from Patsy leaving, everyone always says how they miss Patsy and me always thoughts that why. With exams and everything, I think that’s adding more stress… So I have the afternoon off, I was going to maybe go for a spot of shopping.” Valerie smiled.

After Delia got over her near heart attack of the words noticed and Patsy in the same sentence, words that haven’t put fear in her since nursing school, Delia was quite touched. 

“Why thank you, Valerie, I would love to!” Delia exclaimed. 

“Well, thank God for that, I’ve already packed for it.” Valerie sighed with relief holding up a rather squished sandwich. They both laughed at them and looked warily at them.

Delia changed into her favorite floral dress; it was the one Patsy brought her on a day into London two years ago. She twirled around and flew down the stairs, she was rather excited; no homework and she never had the chance to get close with Valerie so this would be a good chance. 

They met each other out of the house and made their way through the street talking about the latest fashion.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been forever since I updated but, it's here now? And it's longer? does this make-up for it?

Delia ran her fingers over the dresses hanging on the line in the shop; they were all so lovely and intricately designed. 

If given the choice and money, Delia would buy out the entire shop. Valerie had taken her through the streets of London, looking for the perfect dress shop, she had to find one for her cousins baby shower. 

They walked around London for what seemed like hours, Delia’s feet eventually started to hurt, she didn’t mind though, they talked and got to know each other.

They never really got to know each other since they always talked in groups, now they were becoming better friends. 

They talked and bonded how they both felt as though they were outside the close knit circles. 

Though they had become close to the occupants of Nonnatus they were the new ones. Each struggled with the different aspects they could still understand each other.

Delia struggled with asserting and finding herself outside of Patsy’s ‘friend’ identity she felt as though people assigned her, she thought she was doing well developing ever since Patsy had left, this was both bitter-sweet. 

There was also the fact that she was more than Patsy’s friend, much more, and she couldn’t share that side with anyone, not that she divulged that to Valerie.

Valerie, on the other hand, felt like the new girl - who she was - she just didn’t expect it to be so… new. She had to adjust to both a routine outside of the army and the new one in Nonnatus.  
It had been a scary start but Valerie adjusted perfectly fine, with her first case being something no one was particularly educated on she handled herself well, she believed.

Socially everything was sunny, she had been immediately welcomed into the circle, though she still felt a little disconnected. 

Valerie knew it was because of the secret she had been carting around since leaving the army. Not that she divulged that to Delia.

 

They both gathered a large amount of dresses and headed through to changing rooms. They took turns, both inspecting each other’s dresses, their constant laughter raised attention from members of staff and shoppers alike. 

Eventually they noticed but by that time they had found their perfect dresses and were ready to pay. 

Valerie had found a blue dress fitted dress that suited her, Delia found a loud, yellow flowing dress. 

When they got off the bus from London it was eight o’clock, since dinner had finished and been cleared away, they decided to get fish and chips. 

 

They got their chips and headed towards Nonnatus, they talked about the day and Valerie’s cousins baby shower, Valerie was actually rather scared, the last family gathering she had was when she got back from the army, she wasn’t so use to loud noises and ended up leaving.

She didn’t talk much about it, instead repressing it and talking about the latest film in the cinema. Delia made a mental note of this. When they reached the front door, they still had chips left and so decided to sit on the steps and star gaze.

After a while, Delia began falling asleep on Valerie’s shoulder, she helped Delia to the door and was about to open it when it swung open, Nurse Crane stood there in a pink dressing gown, curlers in her hair, glasses at the end of her nose and a book cradled in her arm. 

“Would you like any help with the lass?” she enquired.  
“Yes please.” Valerie said sheepishly, bowing her head in embarrassment for some reason she didn’t quite know.

Valerie felt like a teenager again, sneaking in, not that they were – it was Nurse Cranes mother like aura that brought the memories back. 

Nurse Crane took one side of Delia and Valerie picked up their bags and chips wrapper, rattling the contents inside as she brought them inside.

 

Once they put Delia into bed, half waking up a snoring Trixie, they clambered back downstairs for a tea. 

Valerie took the mug from Nurse Crane’s hand and blew lightly into the steaming cup, placing her hands around it. They sat in silence for a moment and sipped at their tea, gathering the thoughts. 

“How was your afternoon, Nurse Dyer?” Nurse Crane questioned.  
“Lovely, really lovely, Delia and I went into London hunting for the perfect dress”  
“Oh, I trust you found it?”  
“Yes, actually, we - Delia picked out a perfect little blue dress, I think its perfect for my cousins baby shower.”  
“Oh, your cousins having a baby? How wonderful, when’s it due?” Nurse Crane smiled warmly.

They talked for a while longer, about the shower, patients and nurse cranes day.

Valerie, eventually feeling the day catching up on her, started to retire to bed. She stopped at the frame to the kitchen and turned on her heels. 

“Nurse Crane, I would like it if you called me Valerie from now on.” She rushed, scared of somehow offending the woman sat in front of her. 

“Well, lass, I’ll call you Valerie if you call me Phyllis.” A warm smile creeping onto her face, this made a toothy grin become permanently fixed onto Valerie’s face.

Valerie was a confident person but with Phyllis, she seems to command so much power it reminded her of her old officer in the army. 

She went to bed and fell asleep within minutes. 

Delia had woken up was immediately met with crushing exhaustion, she tried to fall asleep but every time she closed her eyes a million things had floated into her mind, or more accurately furiously whizzed around cutting through Delia’s head. 

If it wasn’t her constant heartache missing Patsy then it was revision, or her evolving identity. These things made Delia’s head hurt, she looked turned on her bedside lamp and looked at the clock.

It was one in the morning and Delia felt it, she opened her draw as quietly as she could –trying not to wake Trixie. 

Once she found what she was looking for he pulled out the pristine envelope and took out a-less-than-pristine letter. 

It was a letter Patsy had wrote Delia when they were in nursing school. When they first acknowledged feelings for each other, to each other, they suddenly became hyper aware of the time they spent together and agreed to only write notes to each other. They would slip them under their doors at night, when no one would hear or see them. This carried on for months.

Delia held it dearly to her chest, this particular letter meant more to Delia than anything.

Patsy wrote this letter to Delia when she had first been let into Delia’s thoughts, her real thoughts, the ones she had at late in bed and the ones that kept her up in a cold sweat all night. 

“My dearest Delia,  
I first of all would like to thank you for letting me in to your thoughts and your feelings. Not just the sweet little ones you have that float through your head but instead the ones that make even the hardest of people rattle. 

What you think and what you feel should are yours, and of course they can stay that way but know, please know, that I am your shoulder, you can always lean on me. 

No matter if they’re the little ideas you think of and jump up in excitement, or those little ideas of just you and me in Paris you whisper as you’re afraid I will becoming cold and unfeeling to the idea. Especially and I say especially emphasise this, your worries, your fears, your doubts. No matter I’m here for you and all of those things are you, let me see them, let me hear them.

Whenever and wherever, I am here for you. Contrary to what you may believe, you do not have to be the strongest one here. Break, you will be caught, you will be helped. When I say I will help you, I shall not talk of helping you glue back your walls, blocking me out, I talk about helping you with what you’re going through. Together.

I would also like to stress how you’re strong without anyone, do not forget that Busby, you’re strong. What I am saying is that you don’t have to be on your own.

Your love,  
Patsy x”

Delia sat up in bed, her legs curled into her stomach and arms held tightly around them. She sat in that position for a while before pushing down her feelings, laid down and closed her eyes as tight as she could. 

Delia didn’t get any sleep that night, only short bursts of naps, however, she was use to this. 

When she woke in the morning she applied a light touch of makeup to the underneath of her eyes and carried on as normal, she so many emotions pleading to be felt and processed but a bubbly appearance on the outside masked this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments/ likes are greatly appreciated.


End file.
